Marital Bliss – Scary Style

You see, we mortals live here on Planet Earth.  It’s a fabulous, wonderful place with everything you could possibly want.

Famous people, also known as celebrities (not sure who is celebrating what?), do not live on Planet Earth.  They are in a magical, mystical place known as La-La Land.  And good luck to them.
There are occasions of interplanetary mingling, but all in all that’s the way it is and it works pretty well.
Cue a recent interview with Scary Spice and her hot-blooded husband.  Let’s call him Mr Spice.  I have never met either of them, they are probably good people who love dogs and doorknock for the Salvos.
But if you were wanting proof of the aforementioned parallel universe, last Sunday’s News of the World interview is pretty conclusive.  And highly entertaining.  Let’s see…
The interview includes a photoshoot of the two of them together.  The writer notes that throughout the interview, Mr Spice is forever “grunting, grinding her from behind or dry-humping her leg.”  The photos back this up with plenty of eyes-closed writhing and general good taste.   The author talks about feeling uncomfortable as Mr Spice crawls on top of his wife, “breathing heavily, his hands mauling her thighs.”
Mr Spice is clearly pretty proud of himself, “the other weekend, I think we set a world record.  She literally had me tapping out til I had nothing left.”
His wife helpfully points out, “And we did it on a flight over to London recently… I trust him to be faithful because he’s so worn out he wouldn’t have the energy to do it with anyone else.”
Of course the interview concludes with the obligatory “We’re a normal, busy family.”
Now I think it’s great when people are… ummm… pleased.   But let’s pretend you are being interviewed with your partner for a national newspaper.  Would you really dry-root in front of the photographer?  Or tell the writer you’re in the Mile High Club?
This is the part where I say “I’m not a prude” and I assure you I’m not, but puh-lease.  The world does not need to know what couples get up to at home / in public toilets / on planes.  Did you hear me, inhabitants of La-La Land?  By all means, go for it.  Just try, for the rest of us, to keep it to yourselves.
Your thoughts?

12 thoughts on “Marital Bliss – Scary Style

  1. I think that it's sad, really. They're so desperate to prove they're madly in love I wonder if they are at all. Anyone who has to publicly announce they're doing it is screwy (pun intended)

  2. Haha…i saw them on This Morning last week. *cringes*. It is a sad state of affairs when they have to live their love life so publicly so as to validate their relationship. God bless these celebrities…they make me appreciate my “normal” life!!

  3. Genius! I remember watching a documentary with my mum about Scary a few years ago. To my mum's horror, Scary proved her 'normalness' by cleaning up her child on camera- she proceeded to wipe the poor child's bottom with a baby wipe and then use the same wipe on her face. My mum just couldn't forgive her!

  4. Nooooooooo!! Tell me it isn't so!! Oh Scary Scary Scary, what have you unleashed on the world.

    My mother-in-law swears she was visiting a friend who wiped her babies' bottom with a cloth, then dried a teacup with said cloth. She then offered my MOL a cuppa, presumably with that teacup.

    And I agree Wendy, people can envy celebs all they like but give me Planet Earth any day.

  5. Dear This Mid 30s Life,
    I think those 'celebreties” can not differentiate between their 'Image' and their person (that sometimes is not very interesting at all). They are like little trained monkeys in front of spectators – without spectators they might feel 'not-existing'. They play up to the expectations of the media (who want something spicy) – and sometimes are really poor lost souls. But there are others that can protect themselves and their private life – and that is fine!

  6. I think we only need to look at all the endless increasing celeb magazines that appear on the shelves to see that many of these people wouldn't know the real world if they fell into it head first. Some of them just let fame go to their head, especially if they're young and have never had money.

    CJ xx

  7. Thanks Britta, Kristin and Kathryn for your comments. It's all a bit sad isn't it, but then again there wouldn't be these celeb magazines if there was no market for it. I for one find stories like these really entertaining, but pretty sad too. (Hope I am making sense, just got back from a lovely boozy lunch which was long overdue and, if I may say, well deserved!)

  8. Dear This Mid30s Life,
    just in case you don't see my comment on your comment in youarewittyandpretty: I adore short strands of pearls near the neck – day or night – very smart and that way the pearls can be seen, making your neck beautiful (And I see your photo: you can wear it)! I simply don't care what one should wear or how: I just look into the mirror, see if they fit to a cashmere pullover or a summer dress (well, not in London now) – and then wear them! It is the same with silver cutlery or fine porcelain (if you can put it in the dishwasher:-): I don't keep it for a rainy day – I use it now and enjoy it!

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