"Name’s Keitha. Named after me Dad, Keith."

Guess what:  Australians are not New Zealanders.  

New Zealanders are not Australian. 

We’re a pretty forgiving lot, and we understand when people confuse our accents.  Fair enough.  But our countries are actually a plane ride from each other.  Both our homes are girt by sea (another one for the Aussies there, see how I throw them in).  
But I think we’re as close as neighbours can get.  Especially when you’re overseas, Australians and New Zealanders are like brothers and sisters.  You weren’t expecting this love fest, were you?
Like all neighbours, we have our moments.  And I’m sure there are some Aussies and Kiwis who can’t stand each other.  I met one in the UK twelve years ago.  She was a New Zealander who loved to tell me how much she hated Australians.  And she really hated us.  Not sure what you’re meant to say in response to that.  Do you apologise?  Does the fact that I came up with that response mean I’ve been in the UK for too long?  I ended up telling her I didn’t have an opinion about New Zealanders, I just considered it another state of Australia.  That was fun.   

A little quirk that does mire our relationship somewhat is the tendency for Aussies to claim Kiwi achievements and famous personalities as our own.  Ho hum.  Sorry about that.

In my opinion, the best thing to come out of New Zealand in the last couple of years is the Flight of the Conchords.  They’re a comedy duo who had moderate success in the UK before moving to New York.  Sadly for my great nation, they are very, very much Kiwis so we can’t claim them… bum.  This was further cemented by a brilliant episode where Jermaine realises the girl he picked up the night before is Australian.  She’s rough as guts, and her name is Keitha, “named after me Dad, Keith.”  

Watch it here…

13 thoughts on “"Name’s Keitha. Named after me Dad, Keith."

  1. Classic! Love Flight of the Conchords, and love the post. Aussies and Kiwis are a bit like the English and Irish – with the latter always coming out as the poor relations. And those bloody english always try to steal our famous folk too – I mean come on, it's not like we have very many – throw us a bone for god's sake.(Joke joke, jeez some people are so touchy…)

  2. So there you have a problem I didn't even know of! When I was for a month in Edinburgh, I was surprised that a lot of them are really ABE – “Anything But British” – wearing German or American soccer flags, e.g. And when I said to a cute slater “The English are…” he corrected me mildly: “The Scottish, love, the Scottish!”

  3. Kate it's so good to find another FOTC fan. Aren't they brilliant, don't you love the song “It's Business Time??” Classic.

    Thanks Karena, that's very kind. I'll check out your blog next.

    And Britta, you're spot on about those Scots. I heard somewhere that a Scotsman is always Scottish, sometimes British but NEVER English.

  4. Loved your post! As a Scot I really appreciate a bit of appreciation for the poor cousin. And yes, Andy Murray is only Scottish when he is losing, eh is British when he is up!! I have a little crush on Jemaine – I just think he would understand the whole underdog thing so perfectly. Luckily I am not named after my dad (as a Scot that is lucky, you could end up as Donalda or Malcolma or Campbella!). Enough wittering.
    Thanks for the chuckles

  5. How funny! I work with a whole bunch of Kiwis and I have to admit that (even after five years) I still find it hilarious to 'accidentally' refer to them as Aussies every now and then. how they laugh…

  6. Pooky you're right, it is funny! From what I've seen, Aussies generally get over being called Kiwis pretty quickly. But Kiwis really take exception to being called Aussies. Not always of course!

    And that embassy scene is fantastic isn't it!! Don't you love it when they learn how to 'flip the bird.'

    “It looks nothing like a bird?”

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