From the school of “don’t kids say the darndest things” come those extra special comments. The ones that have you suddenly praying, even if you’re a true atheist, for a lovely big hole in the ground to swallow you up and spit you back out somewhere back in time. Or for a very scientific looking beam of light to shine down on you before vacuuming you up into a fabulous day spa in the sky. Complete with fluffy robes, slippers and a complimentary fruit platter.
Perhaps because I am a little bit evil, I do so love hearing these stories. So I’m going to open this one up to the floor – what have been your “oh crap, did he really say that” moments?
I’ll start. My darling three year old son took one look at the man standing next to us as we waited to cross the road, turned to me and loudly said, “What’s he dressed up as?” I pretended I didn’t hear him, so of course he asked me a few more times, each time louder than the last. If honesty really was the best policy, I’d say, “Nothing darling, he’s just badly dressed. Don’t you make the mistake of a jaunty bow-tie with an orange tartan shirt.” But, alas, I could not.
When my friend was young, her mother softly sighed, “Thank god they’ve gone” when some guests finally departed. They had to pop back in quickly, and (you can see where this is going, can’t you) Gill said, “Mummy just said thank god you’d gone!”
But my all time favourite is my beautiful niece. When she was four, she was walking down the street with my sister, when they saw a cat. My niece wanted the cat. So began a rather noisy tantrum, with her yelling, “I want pussy! I want pussy!” My sister has a wonderful sense of humour, so between giggles, she would throw in the word, “cat” after each “pussy” – just to clarify things.
Over to you.