There is Domestic Goddess and there is Domestic Mess. I am in the middle. I have the odd Martha Stewart moment, although I’m guessing she doesn’t ring her friends to say, “I just made my own chicken stock!”
For every Martha Moment is a Me Moment. Yesterday I was telling my husband I’m the “Stain Whisperer,” on account of a spectacularly successful bit of laundry. I was waving my son’s spotless schoolshirt around going, “This was just filthy!” before realising said paint-splattered shirt was still on the floor, and I had just re-washed a perfectly clean one. Ah.
I do love cooking and baking though. Having said that, to know your limitations in these areas is a Very Good Thing.
Case in point: my children’s birthdays. November is birthday party month, as they were born two weeks apart. Since my daughter is two on Saturday, she will have three friends over, plus their parents.
So today I flipped through cookbooks, writing down everything I wanted to prepare. Let’s just recap: the food I will need for four toddlers, a pre-schooler, and a smattering of adults for a two-hour party. Here is the list I ended up with, are you ready?
– Birthday cake: double-layered maple cake with pink sparkly whipped cream
– Cupcakes: strawberry swirl buttercake with soft meringue frosting
– Fairy bread
– Homemade sausage rolls with tomato relish
– Chocolate crackles
– Rasberry coconut slice
– Fresh fruit platter
– Pink meringues
– Vanilla hart-shaped biscuits with pink icing.
I agree. What a dickhead.
My problem was, I had forgotten about last year’s party. The one where rather than going to bed, I was smearing a thousand pink biscuits with icing that had already set. The kitchen looked like the Pink Panther had snuck in and shat everywhere. I ended up telling people my little boy helped with all the food – pure class, right there.
I need to whittle that silly list right down.
Cocktail frankfurt, anyone?