Meet our Christmas Tree

I have to scratch.
Everyone sees right through me.  It’s as though I’m transparent.
It sucks being a turkey at Christmas.  Luckily I’ve found the best hiding place ever.
Must. Stay. Still.
When I find the smarty pants who put me in a ruffle collar…
Oh crap, thought it was fancy dress.
I’m in easy reach of the kids here.  PLEASE put me up higher.
There’s no place like home.  There’s no place like home.
There’s no…. oh… can’t click my heels.
Thought these kids were Australian?  They don’t have a clue what I am!
Stars are normally at the top of the tree, but thought I’d keep it real this year.
So am hanging with the baubles.  But they are, like, soooo boring.
Can someone get the pine needle out of my arse?
Hel-loooo – I was in Barbie and the Twelve Dancing Princesses.
I totally do not belong here.  And who is the perv under my skirt??
They put me right behind the dancing chick.  Sweeeet.
Bloody Monty Python.
Tsk tsk tsk!  (Translation: Quick, Sonny!  Old Mr Smith and his dog fell down the well!)
Mulled wine!! Weeeeee!!!
Since I lost my wand I’ve been looking a bit Third Reichy.

13 thoughts on “Meet our Christmas Tree

  1. Some fab baubles…love the koala and the fascist dictator fairy:o)
    It's tradition in the Frosty household to buy something new for the tree each year. Despite the fact my lot are waay older they still enjoy hunting for something 'different' to add to the collection.

  2. I'm enjoying your tree vicariously cos we can't put ours up for another week (when the Hubs gets home)
    LOVE your captions, excellent job. And the ornaments are SO quirky!

  3. Brilliant. I needed this on Saturday when we put ours up. Complete carnage, wasn't laughing then, I am now. I was scrolling though this laughing away, thinking she must have run out of funnies by now, but no, they kept coming 🙂

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