What sort of name is Mid-Thirties, anyway? She should have come to me when deciding on that.
Today I blow-dried my own hair. I ended up dialing 999 as my hairbrush was so firmly entangled it was giving me a surprisingly effective facelift.
Emergency services would not help. To cut a long story short, I called my PA who sorted the situation right out. I can happily report my hair is as swishy as ever. I must admit the crisis did get me a little bit excited, and I started looking around for other prospective emergencies I could call 999 about. Short of starting my own fire, there was nothing. Ah well.
Minty, my publicist, called. She is worth her weight in gold – just so lovely – but my has she got a big mouth!! I once confided in her all that I do for various charities and before I knew it, it was in every magazine. Who knew that would happen? On the bright side, I’m sure I will have inspired people to help others. Every cloud.
Back to Minty’s phone call – a glossy mag is putting together an article on celebrities’ heroes, and they want to know who mine are. I have a think. Well there’s Ghandi, Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa… I don’t know what Ghandi did, and I’m sure the other two will be mentioned by the others. I’ll have to do some serious research and call Minty back. My day just got much busier – as if I need this!
I google “amazing people” and my name isn’t mentioned. My computer must be broken. Anyhoo I come across someone who is, or was, amazing: Helen Keller. She can be my hero! Helen Keller certainly is amazing at overcoming diversity (is “diversity” the right word? Must check with word book thingy). I know all about beating hard times as my hairdresser was ill today.
Reading more about Helen Keller, I hope with all my heart that she had a good stylist.
I’ll make sure I get teary when I’m interviewed. All I have to do is think of that time a rude, dirty mutt tried to hump my pedigree Bichon Frise at the park. Poor Princess Periwinkle.
I look at the time and cannot believe my eyes as I have to collect the children from school. I literally have not stopped all day – I’ve chosen outfits, I’ve stretched, I’ve eaten watercress… I could go on. There is still so much to do. Where does the day go? I still haven’t managed to ask the cleaners to clean the tops of the doorways, so we are destined to be subjected to further air-borne disease.
As Mummies we do have to laugh, don’t we, or we’ll go mad. This house is just pure insanity sometimes – honestly, how do we do it?