Today, for reasons known only to no-one, I googled my name. Did I want to know more about myself? Fancy seeing my name in print? Did I want to admire a photo of me? Who knows. But that’s what I did.
When I had my maiden name (terrible expression, up there with “pink bits”) I didn’t share my name with anyone. It was all mine.
Now I have a different surname, and although it isn’t a very common one, I now have to share my name with others.
I’m not good at sharing. Of course I tell my children to share, for that’s what parents do. I’ll even make a show of sharing in front of them, “Oh look, Mummy is giving Daddy some of her biscuit – did you see that? No? OK I’ll take it back…” But if you ask for some of my chocolate, or worse, if we are at a movie and you suggest one popcorn between us, the answer will be “No.” Yet when it comes to sharing a name, I just have to suck it up. For there is no choice.
Not that it really matters. I’ve never had anyone confuse me with someone else with the same name. But today after googling myself, I’ve made a deflating discovery: of all the people who have my name, I am the least accomplished. Here is a little taster of what others with my name are up to:
1. Running highly successful events planning company in Florida.
Me: I’ve been to many events. Always late, often tipsy, but there.
2. Paediatric Cardiologist in Boston.
Me: I have a heart. It’s one of my many organs. It beats too, just like Johnny Castle’s “gu-gung.”
3. A volleyball player. She probably says things like, “Yeah team!” and jumps around giving high-fives.
Me: I don’t really care about this one.
4. Getting photographed at swanky fundraising parties like the “Young New Yorkers for the Fight Against Parkinsons Disease Foundation.”
Me: I was on the cover of my hometown’s newspaper holding a turkey for the Christmas edition. The headline was “Guess Who’s Not Looking Forward to Christmas?”
5. Canadian medical author who writes about, “right ventricular outflow tract obstructions.” I’m sure this is among other things.
Me: I write this blog. It includes thoughtful prose such as “You could wear an outfit made from Kermit-the-Frogs.”
6. There are three people with my name in North Dakota. Just thought I’d mention. I don’t know what people get up to in North Dakota. *Waves to those in North Dakota!”
Me: I have seen Dakota Fanning in several films.
7. An historian with works published on the Great Wall of China.
Me: I own many things made in China, so I can absolutely compete here.
I don’t know what I was expecting to find. Was I hoping to find a website set up in my honour? A fan club? As it turned out, there was very little. Now that I think about it, that’s fine by me.