Pet Hates. Not to be Confused with "Hates Pets."

This week’s listography is a cracker. It’s “My 5 Pet Hates.” Considering each of us have at least ten, I predict some good reading among participants, although it might get a little angry. Here are mine:

1. The phrase “at the end of the day”
Is this a London thing? An English thing? Is it British? Why? Why???

Yesterday while shopping, I was happily eavesdropping to the two sales assistants having a great old gossip. It was fantastic and I now know more about a total stranger’s sex life than anyone should. But I digress. It was all good fun except for the infuriating fact that in those few minutes I counted EIGHT “at the end of the days.”

Does this phrase imply that what you just said holds more meaning at nightfall? No? Are you singing a song from Les Miserables? Non?

Why not just use “ummmm.”

2. While I’m talking about phrases, I hate the phrase “yummy mummy”
Like the term “old biddie” is there a male equivalent? Not that I know of. Please, if there is one, I’d love to know.

The term “yummy mummy” is just so truly, truly awful I can’t even explain why. I know many mummies embrace it, hell I’m probably offending many of you by saying this. I don’t know. I just don’t like it. Let’s leave “yummy” for things like chocolate and icecream.

Mmmmmmmm. Icecream.

3. “I’m not a feminist”
This is a light-hearted blog. So please excuse me while I get onto my soapbox and just say this: the F word isn’t scary people. And guess what – if you believe in equality, such as equal pay for equal work (which IS still an issue), but you don’t consider yourself a “feminist” I believe you have your terminology wrong.

Think for a minute about how our lives would be if not for those scary “feminists.” Would we have the vote? Be able to own property? Work after getting married? Get an education? Inherit money? Have maternity leave? (This is looking like that great scene in Life of Brian, “What have the Romans ever done for us?”)

Want to really piss me off? Say you’re not a feminist because you like being feminine. Put “at the end of the day” in there and I will cry.

Having said that, if you’re famous and get your gear off in public, please don’t say you’re “empowering women.” You’re not. You’re just getting your gear off in public.

4. The busy brigade
Everyone is busy. Life is busy. It isn’t a competition. I know this is hard for some, but really, there is no need to tell everybody how busy you are. Whether you’re a mother or not, employed or at home, you are busy. I get it.

I think we’re all a bit guilty of this one. In the first few months of being a SAHM, I made sure my husband knew I didn’t loll around all day drinking cocktails. Every evening I’d tell him just how busy I was that day. How boring is this sentence: “I did three loads of washing, ironed your shirts (look no creases!), spent quality time with the children, paid the bills, cleaned the floors and made a flan.” I started to even bore myself, which is quite hard to do, so I stopped doing it. Can I say I found myself refreshing? Well, I did.

Up myself? Me?

5. Chain emails
“Forward this to seven friends and not only will Bill Gates cure malaria but you’ll win the lottery too” accompanied by photos of kittens wearing hats and a message like “it really works!”

Delete.

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