Bad Combinations

Bad combinations are everywhere. It’s this week’s Listography theme, so I’m predicting it’s going to be a big one. Here is my list of Top 5 Bad Combinations:

1. White underpants / man
Sorry guys, but this combination is just asking for trouble. Don’t make me explain why.

2. Sound of air escaping / sex
Or so I’m told.

3. Pregnant woman / sharer of horror birth story
Hands up if you had people tell you about their own / mother’s / partner’s / friend’s traumatic birth story when you were pregnant. Those of you not with your hands up have either never been pregnant, or you’re the ones telling these stories. If it’s the latter, please stop scaring the bejesus out of the pregnant women. Thank you.

4. Labour / Eye of the Tiger
The first time I was pregnant, my husband had a great idea for what would get me through the birth.

“I’ll bring Eye of the Tiger and we can play it again and again!”
“No.”
“What?  Why not?  It’ll be just like Rocky!”

Needless to say, the person with the child exiting her body was always going to win that argument.  If I remember correctly, I did take some Travis CDs to hospital, as my “birth plan” (ha ha haaa!!!) was to just breath my way through and enjoy some music.  The CDs didn’t see the light of day.

I actually said to someone, “I’ll be fine, I have a high pain threshold – I really love hard massages.”  Ha ha haaaa!!

5. Gwyneth Paltrow / cookbook
Ever looked at a picture of Gwyneth Paltrow and been so inspired to cook, you rushed to the kitchen to rustle up a real treat? No?  Me neither.  I prefer to take cooking advice from people who have a clear passion for food – Nigella springs to mind.   There’s also Prepped!  out soon, and you can read her fabulous blog which details all the work involved.  No macrobiotic whatnots here.

But Gwyneth has published a cookbook. It’s full of annoying things like “The stove is the epicentre of my house… most of the time there is something atop it, simmering away for my family.”  Gee.   Is that what stoves are for?

Any bad combinations to add?


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