Oh To Have Such Confidence

“I think it’s because I’m rich, handsome and a great player. They envy me – there’s no other explanation.”
Cristiano Ronaldo explaining why he is often singled out by other players.

“I am beautiful, famous and gorgeous. I could have any man in the world.”
Anna Kournikova. And really, who is going to argue?

“There’s nobody in the world like me. I think every decade has an iconic blonde – Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana – and right now, I’m that icon.”
No, that wasn’t me. That was Paris Hilton.

“I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars.”
Really? Charlie Sheen was pretending?

“I’m really exciting. I smile a lot, I win a lot, and I’m really sexy.”
Serena Williams. I have nothing to add. Nothing.

“I’m really f*cking good at my job, and people who are interesting and good know that. That’s all that matters.”
Oh Gwyneth. Gwyneth, Gwyneth, Gwyneth.

“I think we’re both deeper than normal people.”
Miley Cyrus talking about her boyfriend and herself. Because they are, like, soooo deep. Like, totally, you know? They totally talk about life and things and stuff.

“Sometimes it’s overwhelming. Why did God give me my talent, my gift, my family. But I know you’re not supposed to question God.”
I get you, Beyonce. My son says my talent is finding triangles, and yes, it is certainly overwhelming.

“Love him or hate him, Trump is a man who is certain about what he wants and sets out to get it, no holds barred. Women find his power almost as much of a turn-on as his money.”
Donald Trump. And his hair.

And while we’re talking quotes, we all know Muhammed Ali’s wonderful “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee” don’t we?

Well, I’m embarrassed to say that until recently I thought it was “float like a butterfly, sting like a beaver.”

Because a beaver sting hurts like hell, didn’t you know?

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