Baby Name Suggestions

Deciding on baby names isn’t easy. You think you and your partner will happily agree on a name, then skip to the pram shop holding hands. Not so.

We were well into the “please don’t remind me this baby has to come out” part of my first pregnancy when we discussed names. My husband wanted to call our son Sebastian. That might be a fine name, but I could not see us as parents of a Sebastian. He said he liked Thor. I laughed. He didn’t join in. That was a surprise. I told him I really liked Matthew or Lachlan. He quickly vetoed them. See what I mean?

So I have come up with a way of getting your partner to agree to the name you want. The trick is to suggest a name they will really not like first. Do your best to sell it to them, and act disappointed and reluctant when they turn it down. You then suggest the name you actually want, which is hopefully not as ridiculous, and they will be so relieved you are not sticking with the first name that they’ll agree to it. I have come up with names you can pretend to suggest, with selling points should you need them. Names are very personal things, so if you find your name or your child’s name here, please don’t take this to heart.

Girls Names
OK yes, you are essentially naming your daughter after a fungus. But it’s exotic. It’s pretty. And if we didn’t have fungus, risotto would be rubbish and there’d be no penicillin.

Take this name up a notch by modifying its spelling. For example, you can try Mahogganee or Ma-Hogan’eeeee. Nice!

Baubles are festive, decorative and everyone loves them. And if you call your baby Bauble, you can hold them up on the Christmas tree and everyone will think you are hilarious.

She’s going places.

Abstract Nouns
No, I’m not suggesting you call your daughter “Abstract Noun” although hey, each to their own. But Faith, Hope and Charity are names. So why not consider Indifferent, Gullible or Nonplussed?

Twinkle Stardust
It’s David Bowie meets Dame Edna meets Mariah with a drag queen giving them all a big cuddle.  This is for those who intend to make their daughters attend auditions and pageants.

Boys Names
This is a very masculine name. Strong, powerful, this is a man who packs a punch. (If you don’t mind…)

This is an excellent choice should your family suffer from a distinct lack of hair. By calling your son Plush, you are increasing their chances of them looking like this one day:

Personally, I can’t think of a better start in life.

Like Balsamic, Ball is another very manly name. Warning: it isn’t subtle.

I was inspired by, yes, a door handle. Robust and practical, the door handle has direction. It has purpose. It doesn’t piss about with your “oh which way shall I go” nooooo…. it turns left or right. If you like the sentiment behind this name but you want a shorter version, you can go for Knob.

He’ll be popular with the ladies. Or he’ll be a porn star.

Have you got a good name to add to the list?

This is a sponsored post but please don’t get all snooty and “Urgh! She blogs for cash!” We’re coming up to Christmas so yes, I will blog for cash.

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