My Kitchen. My Nemesis.

Before I tell you about this piece of cat sick that is my kitchen, let me start by saying that I am grateful we have a roof over our heads. I am also acutely aware that there are those who would be thrilled to have this kitchen.

So yes, I am grateful to have a kitchen. But here is a photo of its ceiling:

Can you see where I’m going with this?  It’s a good thing I can see the funny side, for it is a really crappy kitchen. You’ve seen the ceiling. I don’t know what amuses me more – the weird-arse, plastic, thirty year old checked thing that someone knowingly installed? The long, unforgiving fluoroescent light? Or maybe it’s the fact that the other fluoroescent light has been broken since we moved in?

My kitchen repels heat.  This would be fine in, say, Bermuda.  But my kitchen is not in Bermuda.   It has a door that goes outside, but there is no step.  Should you open said door and go outside you will fall about two feet onto some concrete below.  In Winter I have to stuff the bottom of the door with towels to stop the draught.  I cook while wearing several woollen jumpers and scarves, sometimes gloves. This house is warm, but the kitchen is not.

The appliances have little idea of what they are supposed to do. The fridge freezes vegetables and the freezer, when the door works, is confused and thinks it’s some kind of cold cupboard. “Fix fridge” has been top of the list for a while. Yes I have played with the settings, but they are there purely to give a semblance of efficiency. The fridge is small, but in Winter I can keep things outside where it’s colder. Brilliant!

Did I mention my kitchen is green and brown?  Well, it’s green and brown.

It’s normally not this clean.

When I stand at the sink, I have a clear view of my neighbour’s wall. Thankfully, their walls are not ugly like ours so that’s a plus. But our landlord has a thing for decorative stickers on windows. Can you spot them in the photo below? Does anyone care to translate? My guess is they are saying something like, “Yes it’s cold, get over it” or “Green and brown will make you frown.

The flowers were purely for the photo.

By way of comparison, this is our kitchen in Sydney. I’m not saying it’s amazing and I’m not including it here to suggest one city is superior to the other, because it’s not. But I loved that kitchen then and I love it more now. Absence indeed makes the heart grow fonder. It’s nice to know this kitchen awaits me when we move back. I feel like I’ve earned it after this doozy.

Looking at this photo just now, I realise it’s missing a cupboard.

What’s your kitchen like? Does it have, *ahem*, character?

This is a sponsored post. But it’s still a post. I just happen to get money for it, that’s all.

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