May All Your Puddings Be Bought

I hope you and your families all had a merry Christmas. We certainly did. I am so in love with Christmas in Winter, it isn’t funny. Not that anybody was suggesting it is funny. I probably should have wished you a merry Christmas yesterday but was too excited after the panto.

For today’s post I have copied an email I got from my mother today. Lazy, me? Well, yes. But it’s Christmas in Winter. And if that isn’t a time to be lazy I don’t know when is. And if you had a cooking disaster at Christmas, it’s good to know you were not alone. Over to my Mum…

I was asked to bring pudding, ice-cream, custard and cream for Christmas lunch.  I had heard a well-known cook on the radio talk about doing a pudding in the microwave.  So I thought I’d try that this year.

I soaked all the fruit in brandy for a few days. I then realised I didn’t have a suitable bowl to cook it in. So, off to Chatswood* early one morning, and after trawling through loads of shops I found just what I wanted. I dragged all the parcels home, then realised I didn’t have the bowl. Damn @#$%^&! (That’s how Mum swears.) I probably left it on a table in Chatswood Chase when I stopped to rearrange my packages. The thought of going back was quickly dismissed because life is too short. Damn.

I double checked my available cookware and decided to test a melamine bowl in the microwave.   I popped it in for 3 minutes and could hear this ominous cracking, and the smell was awful. Damn again. The bowl now has no bottom and the house stinks.

So, this time, I went to Crows Nest and bought another bowl. I cooked the pudding, supposedly, but it looked vile and uncooked. So, brainstrust here puts it back for another ten minutes. Big mistake. It looked like dog’s vomit, which is not what you want from a pudding. It was also now rock solid. I put it in the fridge and thought I’d try to remove it from the bowl the next day.

The next day it wouldn’t budge from the bowl. So I took a very expensive Scanpan knife to run it round the edges. I felt a snap, again, that’s not what you want. As I lifted the knife out, the whole top of the knife is missing. It’s embedded in the pudding. On the bright side, at least now the pudding is out of the bowl.

The toll was now:

– One brand new bowl, never used
– One melamine bowl
– One Scanpan knife
– Beautiful brandy soaked fruit mixture, eggs, butter, etc.

In the end I went to David Jones food hall, where I bought a Newcastle Lady’s pudding for $83. But I have to be truthful and say that it was one of the best puddings I’ve ever had. The whole thing was my own fault, but …!

*Shopping in Chatswood sucks the life from you. It’s crowded. It’s hectic – while somehow being a place where you always get stuck behind slow walkers. Argh! You can spend 6 months just looking for a car park. To brave the Christmas crowd in Chatswood and come home without your goodies is about as fun as haemorrhoids.

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