I’m excited because my blog has nearly had 100,000 views. Yes yes, some blogs get that in a single day, I know. I’m still excited though.
|Time for some low-key, classy celebrations. Hang on…
This might seem boastful, and talking yourself up isn’t the done thing in England. Instead you have to talk yourself down, while getting your message across in an underhand way. Something like this:
“Damn blog has nearly had 100,000 views. Someone’s computer has probably malfunctioned and keeps opening this silly website by accident!” (Scoff, scoff.)
“I’m ever so surprised my blog has nearly had 100,000 views. It seems people don’t completely hate bad writing after all!” (Shake head ruefully to indicate you don’t know what the world is coming to.)
See? You really want to say “Guess what…!” but it’s against the rules.
|I searched for “celebration” and found this.
Is it just me, or is he waaaaay too pleased about his snowball?
I know it’s silly. I know I shouldn’t be making a big deal about it, but where’s the fun in that? Although, let’s face it, the breakdown of views is probably like this:
Brothers and sisters: 10,000
Person who owns the malfunctioning computer: 10,000
Person in Georgia who does daily search for “Nicky Minaj boobs” (you know who you are): 10,000
Those who find this blog by searching for “Bangles Different Light Album”, which happens every day (I had no idea they were still so popular): 20,000
Those who find this blog after searching the word “merkin”: 5,000
People who open this blog by accident: 5,009
Actually this isn’t entirely correct. I haven’t reached 100,000 yet. It’s just that up until now I’ve missed the other milestones by a few days. So this time I’m being prepared. I do like the idea of celebrating something before it happens, so you don’t forget to celebrate when it actually does happen. Even if that something is hugely unimportant. Genius!
Thanks for reading.