My Top 5 Annoying Phrases

1. Yummy Mummy

I know I am repeating myself but I still hate this phrase. It’s hard for me to pinpoint why exactly, but it’s just so awful. Does it imply that a woman who remains attractive after becoming a mother is such a rarity, we have to make a big deal of it? Is that it?

With my hand on my heart, I think my girlfriends are all getting more and more beautiful with time. I don’t know if any of them would be flattered to be a “yummy mummy” – maybe they would be – but they are so much more than that tacky, horrible phrase.

I still can’t stand “at the end of the day” as well. What does it mean? What?? What???

2. “I’m not being a bitch / racist but…” followed by something really bitchy or racist.

Just because you precede something really horrible with saying it isn’t horrible, doesn’t make it OK.

3. I wouldn’t say it’s a phrase but I can’t stand the word “divine.”

Come to think of it, I don’t hear this a lot in the UK. And the word itself is probably OK. The problem I have is it mostly sounds like this: “how di-VIIIIIIIIIINE!!”

**Want to crawl under a rock and stay there**

“The ‘Stockbrokers in Crisis Polo Picnic’ will be di-VIIIIIINE!”

4. “A change is as good as a holiday.”

Guess what? It isn’t. So stop your lies! Enough with this “let’s pretend we can all get that holiday feeling just by implementing one teeny tiny change!” It’s, as my son would say, ridiclious.

I have been on several holidays. And I can safely say a new hair colour / recipe / pub / shower curtain / teapot / gym class might be good, but nowhere as good as a holiday. This is because holidays are really, really good.

5. “At this moment in time.”

What’s wrong with just saying “now?”

If you want to emphasise the point, a “right now” can pack the punch you’re after. “Now” is concise, it is definite, it doesn’t piss about. It is NOW. If you’ll permit me to use some bad food metaphors here: “at this moment in time” is un-set green jelly in an ugly plastic bowl, while “now” is a perfect steak with the knowledge of a well crafted cheese platter to come afterwards.

So that’s my rant over with, thanks for putting up with it. Which phrases annoy you?

Check out this week’s Listography here.

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