Titanic Take 2

The film Titanic is being released in 3D for the 100th anniversary of the ship’s sinking.

And I have to ask… why? I want to know. I’m not saying it was a bad movie. It was perfectly good, I enjoyed it, and there is the matter of an award or two. It was worth watching for the costumes alone and you can’t deny the effects were amazing. Plus half the population are suckers for a love story between a I’m-posh-but-it’s-not-my-fault girl and the “wanna go to a real party?” boy.

There were some seriously cheesy lines though. Remember, “Where to, miss?” “To the stars!” and “You jump, I jump, remember?” And that hand sliding down the window was FUNNY.

“Oooh I so dig your hot, sweaty palm.  So slippery…”

Then of course there is Celine Dion and “My Heart Will Go On.”  And so will that song.  It goes on.  And on.  And on.  And on. Is it about to finish? No… it still goes on. And on.

But the story of the Titanic is fascinating. It’s a combination of historical significance, the insanity of a rigid class system and the superiority of mother nature against the best that can be built.

And let’s not forget good old-fashioned morbid curiosity.

I saw it at the cinema when it was first released. When it was over, my friend and I both felt uncomfortable that we had essentially paid good money to watch a re-enactment of the death of over a thousand people.

And that’s why the release of a 3D version has me baffled. What, the drownings weren’t vivid enough? The sheer terror looked a bit too “flat screen” for some people? Never mind those that didn’t see it first time around, that’s fair enough, but who would go to see it again in 3D? Would you? I’m curious. It’s not as though we read about mass slaughter in the newspaper, and then sit back and try to imagine exactly what it looked like.

Having said that, I don’t think the Titanic movie crosses any kind of line. But I’ve come across something that does. There is a new Titanic activity book for children. It includes, and I am not kidding, a dot-to-dot picture of a man drowning.   I hate to admit it, but I laughed when I heard about this.  It just seems so, well, wrong. Imagine the current atrocities the kiddies of the future can draw with dot-to-dot. It’s just a bit ick, isn’t it?

Having said all this, I can now think of one excellent reason to watch Titanic in 3D: Billy Zane.

Will you be watching it in 3D?

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