Today is our seventh wedding anniversary. We don’t usually go crazy for anniversaries but today we went all out. We did lunch. Fancy lunch at a fancy place. I wish I had a photo to show you of all the perfectly manicured lunching women… so many expensive sunnies perched on so much glossy hair.
|I’m just a bit excited.|
Today has got me thinking about marriage. What makes a good one? I know taking marriage advice from someone with just seven years under their belt is wrong. Like when people pronounce the “h” in “white” because they think it’s posh – wrong. But it’s something I am interested in, plus it’s my blog. So here we go. It’s not an exhaustive list, by the way. I’m hoping you can add to it.
Rule number 1 for a happy marriage
Don’t marry a dickhead. If he gets into fights, deliberately ignores your birthday, kicks puppies, sings “Jelly On A Plate” when you’re walking around naked – these are warning signs.
Rule number 2
Don’t be a dickhead. We all have our moments, but recognise when you are being one and take immediate action. An apology is a good start.
Rule number 3
Buy a boat. Now I don’t own a boat, in fact I don’t even like them. But at my grandparents’ 50th wedding anniversary party my grandfather made a speech which included this advice:
I always say the secret to a good marriage is to have a boat. Then when she is nagging you all day, you can go out on your boat by yourself for some peace.
Cue awkward glances around the room as guests wondered if he was joking or not. He wasn’t.
I include it here not because I think we should all go out and buy a boat. But there is something to be said for a bit of “me time.” Not a lot, but a little bit, regularly.
Rule number 4
This one comes from my grandmother (her husband didn’t have a boat, but he did have a very impressive shed). She always said never go to bed angry – and I think that’s good advice. She also had a theory that you should always sleep together because it’s really hard to stay mad at someone you are sharing a doona / duvet with.
Rule number 5
Encourage and support your partners’ friendships. Good friends add such richness to your life, but when things are busy most of us need a nudge from time to time. Unless you think they are dickheads (see rule number 1).
Rule number 6
I don’t think marriage is meant to be hard. But that doesn’t mean everything in life is meant to be easy. Savour that little nugget, for that is about as deep as I get.
Then again, don’t take marriage advice from me. My husband just pulled up in the garage and I didn’t even realise he’d gone out – and on our anniversary too.
But what I am really interested in are your comments. What advice have you received – and do you agree? What would your number one rule be?