So, it turns out “have tidy shelves” is not an acceptable New Years resolution. Not according to my husband, anyway.
|Oh Sydney, I love you but you’re a bit of a tart.|
Nor is, what I thought was a goody, “mop the floor from time to time.”
I toyed with “get the dining table fixed after 11 years” – in fact I even got a quote. For $6,000…. no, not a typo… I would want a lot more to show for it than one pissy wooden table. I would want at least twenty pissy wooden tables, thank you very much. So our “colonial Australian” cedar table will keep its massive crevice through the middle. It sure is a hoot when dinner guests lose their meals to it. Many a wine glass has been smashed owing to this wonky table, and if I was feeling optimistic I’d say it’s part if its charm. Instead I’ll just say that it’s broken.
I do quite like “get rid of the festy 90s feature wall which I had absolutely nothing to do with.” Basically, some genius built a chipboard wall in our lounge room and then painted it “red wine.” It was perfectly fine for them, they sold the house to us so we are the suckers living with this massive blood clot in our home. I am desperate to get rid of it but its power points keep me from taking to it with a hammer. Electrocution with some amateur demolition, anyone? One day I will get a cabinet maker in to build a decent room divider, but that is dependant on a lottery win, easy! Until then it’s Old Chipboard. Anyway I have finally decided enough is enough, and I started painting it last night. Our new colour? Pavlova. It was a toss-up between that, Damascus Cream, White Cliffs, Peaceful Bay or Smoked Oyster. If I had to choose a paint name for myself, for no particular reason, I’d go with Hello Sailor.
But back to resolutions. How NOT rock’n’roll am I? Even when I try to come up with a more impressive resolution, one that doesn’t read like a to-to list, I falter.
Store wine correctly?
Keep shoes in those clear boxes so I can see them easily?
Not shout so much?
Own more than one belt?
Start drinking beer from a glass not a bottle?
Stop nagging my husband (although I call it “reminding”)?
Join a book club?
Be able to jog more than 4km in Sydney (so sweaty! Such thirsty work! There is no hiding the wobble in these little summer clothes!)?
Install a bird bath in the garden in a bid to teach the children about our native fauna?
Use words like “fauna?”
Shop for seasonal produce with a wicker basket?
Learn how to fill my tyres with air instead of just kicking them with my hands in my pockets?
Make jams and preserves?
Stop at just one chocolate? Or two? OK, three.
Top up my superannuation? (Ha! Haha haaaaaa!!!)
Wear one of those wrap-around aprons while baking, so I look like the main character in Bridesmaids?
I know, I know, not very deep or life changing are they. I think I’ll go for “be more patient”. I have felt every last inch of patience desert me over the last couple of months. I want it back. And there is nothing to test my patience like the two more coats of pavlova paint I need to do to this bloody wall.
Happy new year to each and every one of you! If you loved 2012 I hope 2013 is even better. If you’d rather forget last year, fingers crossed this is the year for you – enjoy! Thank you for checking in and I hope you stay with me this year.