I’m having a little chuckle to myself writing this. Did you see the header?
If only you could see me, you’d be giggling too. I’m wearing really ugly trackies and have been in a foul mood since getting home from work. The house is a tip. I have a headache – for someone who never gets headaches, I’ve been getting an awful lot since going back to work. My husband is lying on the couch watching soccer, and my 4 year old is in bed screaming my name.
I’m hardly the poster girl for romance, am I?
In my defence, like most bloggers, I get asked about various sponsored posts. I turn most of them down, mostly to do with
the money… oops did I say money? I meant, ummm, the topic is so often incongruous with this blog. Yes. That’s what I meant.
But there was something about this pitch that I liked. It went like this:
“We were thinking something like 7 Ways to Ignite Romance In Your Relationship because you are happily married.” This one line had me convinced that YES, I am absolutely an expert in all things romantic, and it’s my duty to serve up my most excellent bits of advice. I accepted the assignment (is that what I call it?) and now here I am. Trying to write it.
So here we are. You might choose to call it “7 pieces of bullshit Rachel obviously just made up” but I prefer to go with the romance one. Although why does every list nowadays, mostly to do with the advertising of beauty products, have to have 7 points in it?
1. There is a lot we can learn from fortune cookies, especially the one that said “Be good and generous to your mate.” So true.
2. For the parents – remember, you’re not only parents. If you find yourself calling your partner “Dad” when the kids aren’t around, sort that out. Now! Otherwise he’ll be calling you “Mother” in 20 years time, and you’ll be in separate beds like Ernie and Bert. Not good.
3. You need time together, you need time together, you need time together. It’s so important I just had to write it 3 times. Book a little holiday for the two of you. Wherever you are, you aren’t too far from a decent destination – think Fiji, the Whitsundays, Spain, Walgett. If that’s beyond your reach – organise a sleepover for all the kids at once and have an adult night at home. Just turn the TV off.
4. You’ve got the house to yourselves… woo! Except there are piles of washing everywhere and yesterdays Cheerios are all over the floor. (I have no idea what that must be like.) You could set about trying to be Superwoman and clearing everything up, but this is a passion killer if ever there was one, and I think you should ignore it. Your house will never be perfect. Unless of course you live on one of those freakishly perfect homes, in which case, how on earth do you do it?
5. I just asked my husband for his number one tip and his answer was too rude for this blog. But you get the idea.
6. So I then asked my husband for his second best tip, and he gave me a very simple answer. And he’s so right. He just said, “Be nice.” And now I’m feeling really bad for being so grouchy when I got home from work, although he had made dinner and everything. And now he’s doing the ironing while I’m blogging. This man is amazing. And I can’t assume he knows I think that. Isn’t that the key to all of this? If you are really into someone, let them know about it. Words are good but actions are better. “Be nice.”
7. Talk to each other. If he thinks you thrill to his tongue in your ear, and you think it feels like a slug, you need to tell him. Just be nice about it. He might feel like a dill because he’s been doing it for ten years, but you’ll be happier, and your ear probably tasted of wax anyway. We’re all different. Grand romantic gestures are lost of me, they make me feel awkward. You might swoon at rose petals all over your bed, I wonder at the state of the pillaged rose bush. But that’s OK because my husband knows that, and to be honest he isn’t into all of that either. I think we’re romantic in our own way, a way that suits us, a way that others probably can’t see. And it works for me.
And what if you’d love to be romantic, but just need someone to be romantic with? If it’s a relationship you’re after, see how online dating can work for you – you just never know! We all know people who tried it “to see how it goes” and found their perfect match online.
I’m very interested in what you think about this. Do you agree or disagree? What would you add?
This post was sponsored by eHarmony.