A Family Wedding

This post also appeared in Mama Mia.

My kind, clever, funny, witty, generous, amazing brother got married recently.  His partner is absolutely beautiful in every way and we could not be more thrilled.  They are a perfect match.  My brother has never been happier.

And there isn’t a bride in sight.

I have a new brother-in-law.  I love Dan and I’m honoured to have him join our family.

They married in LA, where people seem to fear carbohydrates, but not marriage between two men.

Being gay isn’t my brother’s one defining feature.  I don’t introduce him to people as “my gay brother James.” He just happens to be gay.  Just like I happen to be straight.  I’m writing about it here because gay marriage isn’t legal in Australia, and I really think it should be.  I’m hopeful that in 20 years time, we’ll all look back and wonder what the big deal was.

I know there are some in Australia who oppose gay people having the right to marry. They have their reasons.  I’ve heard some of them, and I’d like to address them here.


1. Gay marriage isn’t natural.
Firstly, what does that even mean?  Cancer is natural, it doesn’t mean I want some.   I’d argue that love between two consenting adults is perfectly natural.  It’s beautiful, except when one of them is a dickhead, and that has nothing to do with them being gay or straight.

And anyway, Doritos are not natural, and they are awesome.

2.  I’m all for equality, just not gay marriage. 
I have heard this so many times and I’m confused by it.  As far as I can tell, equality doesn’t come in fits and starts.  You can’t believe in equality for women but think it’s OK for women to be paid less for the same job. You can’t just pick and choose the bits you want to be equal.  Equality is about being equal in all areas, isn’t it?

3.  It’s against my religion.
I must admit I don’t know the Bible as well as others do.  But I do know that Jesus was all about love and compassion for other people.   Where is the love and compassion in denying something as basic and harmless as marriage to a whole group of people? Please correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m certain that if you look hard enough, you can find passages in the Bible that talk about the virtues of stoning and slavery.  That doesn’t mean we have to like it too.

4.  It lessons the importance and sanctity of marriage. 
I love being married.  Will my marriage be somehow diminished if gay people can marry? Will it make my marriage any less real?  Any less a part of my life?  No, no and no.  In fact, I love that when someone close to me gets married it makes me more mindful of our marriage, and how lucky we are to have each other. It’s easy to get caught up in laundry and cooking and cleaning and kids snot and mess and school runs and work so that reminder can only be a good thing.

5. Gay is fine as long as it’s not in my face.
I get this.  I was once at a work function where I shared a dinner table with a dry rooting man and woman, and it wasn’t pretty.  So yes, while I get this point, I’d also say that it’s the same for straight people.  I don’t want their sex lives in my face either.  It’s PERSONAL people!

Although, if by “in your face” you mean any kind of physical contact, I think that’s pretty mean.  If you are offended at the sight of gay people holding hands, in my opinion you’re a bit sad.

So there you have it.  I don’t mean to be all ranty over something as positive as my brother’s wedding, honest.  I just want everyone to see what a wonderful thing this has been for our family.

If you have a question or a comment, or you want to congratulate the newlyweds, please leave your message below.  And if you liked this, please share it, especially if you are in Australia. Thanks for visiting.

8 thoughts on “A Family Wedding

  1. Congratulations to your brother and new brother-in-law…funnily enough we were having a similar discussion on selective equality last night. Hopefully it won't take too long for Australia to legalise marriage for same sex couples 🙂

  2. Massive congratulations to them both! Really don't understand why two people who love each other and want to commit to each other can't get married any place they want to but hopefully that will change *shakes head sadly*. LOVE your comment about Doritos by the way, made me chuckle 🙂

  3. Anonymous says:

    One really fun argument I’ve heard: If same sex couples can marry what's to stop people marrying animals…. Ahh I think the fact that an animal cannot give consent and humans can. NEXT argument for me to squash! Lol
    I really want Australia to catch up, its getting embarrassing that we haven’t passed this law yet.

  4. Congratulations to them both – If you can find someone who you want to spend the rest of your life with I say hold on with both hands, regardless of gender!

    So glad to see you blogging again.

    I seem to have hit a bloggy wall at the mo.


  5. 100% with you. Considering the fiasco that some heterosexual couples make of the 'sanctity of marriage', I really can't see how two men or two women wanting to get wed poses such a marriage threat.
    Love is love, full stop. It really is that simple. And if two people – regardless of gender – want to formalise their love in marriage, then good luck to them!

    Congratulations to your brother and his partner. I wish them a long and happy life together filled with love and laughter.

  6. Ian Slack-Smith says:

    I couldn’t agree more and I am so thrilled with their marriage. You have put it beautifully and I have another son-in-law!
    All my love
    Your father

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