“Nobody’s Jugs Are Bigger Than Annette’s”

So here’s a fun fact: nobody’s jugs were bigger than Annette’s.

grease

I had no idea.  I’ve spent the last 30 years thinking it was, “Nobody’s jugs are bigger than HER NETS.”  I can’t find a clip so you can hear the similarity for yourself.  I did, however, find the original trailor and I include it here as my gift to you.

I’ve spent years (YEARS!) lying awake at night, wondering, as a woman (for that is what I am), what are my nets?  Are they my nets?  Is that my net?  What’s a net?

I’m pretty sure my subconscious mind thought “nets” was referring to bras – the word implies a degree of anti-gravitational support.  But I couldn’t understand why the t-birds would be so excited about the possibility of bras being bigger than boobs?  Wasn’t Kenickie a man about town?  Surely the outer casing, if you will, is always going to be bigger than what it’s holding?  It’s just not that exciting.

But it’s all a moot (what a great word) point, because this whole time it was “Annette” not “her nets.”  I wonder if such complications are an everyday thing for women called Annette.

On a sidenote, when Rizzo sang Sandra Dee, one of the lines was, “Would you pull that crap with Annette?”  Jeez, Grease people, we get it – Annette was the word (did you see what I did there?).

OK I know this is sad but it’s also educational:  I googled Annette because I really am that tragic.  They are referring to a real person, her name was Annette Joanne Funicello.   The scriptwriters used references to this1950s celeb to dupe audiences into thinking the film was NOT made in 1978.  She looked like this:

annette

Yep. Nobody’s jugs were bigger than Annette’s.

I just wish I’d figured this all out sooner.  I realised Kenny and Dolly weren’t singing “I live in this street” when I was about ten.  That was handy as I was living on a farm and the two types of music were country and western.  To misquote Kenny and Dolly was social death.

kenny dolly

“I live in this street, that is what we are…”

For a short while, I thought Sade’s Smooth Operator was a telephone operator.  I had certainly worked this little chestnut out by my late teens, so that’s OK.

operator

He’s very, very smooth.

Of course it’s not just me.  I have a great friend, Nic – she’s the one who paid a fortune for her pet mouse to have an anaesthetic so the vet could fix his permanent erection.  When Huey Lewis sang about the power of love, she didn’t get it.  She thought he was singing about his beloved car, his Powerola.  She just thought he really, really loved his car.

OK so it’s not just Nic and I, everyone reading this has stuffed the words up at some point. What did you get wrong?

14 thoughts on ““Nobody’s Jugs Are Bigger Than Annette’s”

  1. iotamanhattan says:

    Well, I got confused in nativity plays as a child, thinking it was all to do with cowboys and Indians, because of the line in that carol “While Shephers Watched”. One of the verses begins “Thus spake the sherriff, and forthwith…”

    So glad I now know who Annette Funicello is. Look at this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONXQbbJJLuM and start listening at about 2.50. You’ll also hear that he “started fooling around with the vertical hold” which as an innocent teenager, I assumed was some kind of sexual position – which makes perfect sense in the context of the narrative of the song. And because we didn’t have google in those days, I remained ignorant of what it really was for years (and still don’t completely know, but it’s to do with the tv picture, in case you’re wondering).

    Glad you’re blogging again!

    • I would have thought the same thing! Love the styling – the flowers, the wine, the newspaper…. what a renaissance man. Very specific lyrics too! “Then I made us some spaghetti…”

      Thanks for the comment.

  2. Oh god…I have got so many wrong in the past (but I did know about Annette’s jugs, at least!) The most embarrassing was that 80’s Rock ballad ‘Love in an Elevator’ …even though it was the TITLE of the song, I lost a £10 bet as I was convinced that they were singing ‘Livin’ it Up in Las Vegas’…why??! So funny…thanks for this post x

  3. Rizzo's Brother says:

    Yeah, I thought it was “nets” also. I figured he was saying that no woman wears a bra that’s way too small for her breasts (i.e. “No one’s jugs are bigger than her nets”) even though the other T-Bird was HOPING that they were too big (i.e. busting out of her bra). I have no idea why the original poster thinks they were excited that bras were larger than breasts. The idea would be that her breasts are too big for her bra and thus possibly about to fall out and bounce around. I heard of Annette Funicello, but I never watched those Beach movies so I had no idea she was supposed to have the world’s largest breasts or something (one look at her will tell you that’s not true and thus it made little sense). I did know that Walt Disney didn’t want her wearing a two-piece but that only means they were hidden even more. So what’s to get all excited about? Hence I never made the connection until someone pointed it out to me many years later.

    The “Would you pull that crap with a net?” (versus Annette) similarly struck me as the guy was trying to grope her because he thought she didn’t have a bra on (better copped feel) and for some reason Rizzo was wondering if he’d try to pull a grope if she WAS wearing a bra. In my mind, it all made at least some (odd) sense so the Annette thing didn’t occur to me then.

    • Jessica Knox says:

      Hello there, Grease is set in 1959 and Annette Funicello was in the original Mickey Mouse Club in 1955 through 1958, so she was a teenager at the right time.

      And Rachel I also thought he said “her jugs are bigger than her nets” I also was lost……I also love a good Christmas Carol, particularly the song “sleigh ride” Well for the longest time I thought the lyrics were “And friends are calling you Who”. I thought it was a reference to Dr. Seuss the whose in Who-ville. but, nope it’s “yoo-hoo” like hello there. lol

  4. Cisco says:

    Watching Grease again and ended up here. Hilarious and something we can all relate to.
    For my best friend it was TLC – Waterfalls, as in “Don’t go Jason Waterfalls” lol

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